September was a month of rebirth—when a crippling depression forced me to step back, assess, and reset my writing career.
Read more: From Bestseller to Burnout: My Phoenix Tale
Burned to Ash: From Bestseller to Burnout
My brain hit the brakes after the successful launch of my debut novel “Prison of Loneliness” in August, which hit best-seller in the US, UK and Germany. I wanted to get back to my desk, but I couldn’t. A depression held me captive. The cause? The 1.5 years of work with no breaks or weekends. Burned out to a pile of ash. But like ash is a fertiliser to new vegetation, this time of introspection brought forth something fruitful.
I redefined who I am, envisioned a life goal and set destination. Several milestones will lead me through a list of non-fiction books I’ll need to write to get there. But just when I thought I had it all mapped out and could set sail, I found myself stuck again—this time in the quagmire of procrastination.
The cause? Figurative gluttony. My plate wasn’t full; it was overflowing. Editing my memoir, working on a book project with a survival guide expert, brainstorming for the first of the series of non-fiction books I mentioned above, and keeping up with an exhaustive social media calendar, was more than I could chew. Growing demand for an audiobook and a translated version of Prison of Loneliness were then just the droplets that made the bowl overflow. And we didn’t talk about writing part II of Prison of Loneliness, yet. I would approach my desk in disgust thinking about having to swallow all that. And the smell of the pile of e-mails which had accumulated made me nauseous.
The Rising Phoenix: About Finances and Dilemmas
Fun-fact: my debut novel did become a bestseller; yet, failed to bring revenue. A mere ~$50 in earnings against ~$7,000 in expenses. So I found myself in a dilemma: deliver any of the books I promised (audiobook, translation, part II of Prison of Loneliness, or the memoir) but stay without income; or disappoint you and focus on solving my financial issue first.
I’ve decided to switch gears. The same as a car needs to accelerate first before driving at high speed, I will need to set up my writing business properly before I can invest time into fiction. My focus will therefore be on non-fiction—which not only allows for higher pricing but can also be bundled with webinars and consulting. I gave myself an ultimatum: if I don’t reach a sufficient income by the end of 2024, I’ll have to return to a traditional job.
So, in the coming weeks, I’ll be diving into research and outlining above-mentioned non-fiction book. But don’t fret. I am convinced that many of you will find it valuable. My stated mission was to foster interpersonal understanding by bringing awareness to mental health, culture differences, LGBTQ+, kink and philosophy. My updated mission is to foster interpersonal understanding, communication and team-work. You’ll find all the topics that might have led you to me also in my future work. My philosophy is “Merge Merits”. I will dedicate another blog post to explaining what I mean by that—and my next book.
And if the story plays out as I envision, I will have a financial base to continue writing the tale of a novelist.
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