How Kintsugi Can Help You Heal from Trauma

Experience leaves marks. You are not alone.

One can feel pretty lost and lonely with a trauma. It is not common, yet, to openly talk about such things and since people are not used to such conversations, they might react poorly when you try to share your struggle. However, you are not alone. Some live through hardship daily, some rarely; for some an event is more impactful, for others less. I don’t know a single person, though, who doesn’t have some sort of trauma, even if they don’t admit it.

Violence, death, harrassment, an accident, it can be anything—and it changes our life forever.

The bestselling literary fiction novel Prison of Loneliness features three different examples.

• Bruno had to carry the weight of his alcoholic father.
• Jacob retains the generational trauma Koreans suffered from the Japanese during the colonial time.
• And Kigai gets triggered through sterile rooms and grins revealing more than just teeth.
  

How does a trauma affect our lives?

Traumatic events change our lives. We might develop an unhealthy attachment style and struggle maintaining relationships. We might get triggered at work or on the street, resulting in an emotional outburst that does not only shock the people around us but is also draining for us. To avoid that, we might withdraw from social life.

In my work-in-progress non-fiction book The Psyche‘s Shape, I shed light on what shapes us: our biology, environment, and experiences, including traumatic events.

Stay tuned to learn how to bring out your best self.

When you can’t heal, fix yourself with gold

Trauma healing is a mythos. We can reassemble a broken vase, but the traces will never disappear. Instead of hiding the cracks, the Japanese fill them with gold, embracing the new nature of the vase. This is called Kintsugi.

I invite you to do the same with trauma. Don‘t try to undo. It‘s impossible. Instead, reassemble yourself and embrace it as a valuable part of who you are. For you to do so, I collected a list of actionable steps. My newsletter subscribers get it for free.

Other helpful resources

Here are a couple of non-fiction and fiction books by other authors telling tales of trauma and coping.

Bessel van der Kolk’s book The Body Keeps the Score* explores how trauma affects the body and mind, detailing ways to recover and restore well-being. It’s insightful for readers interested in understanding the physiological impacts of trauma and offers actionable ways to heal.

Elizabeth Lesser’s book Broken Open* shares stories of transformation, illustrating how life’s hardships can be transformative, a concept close to the essence of kintsugi. It provides a compassionate perspective on finding meaning through pain.

This Pulitzer-winning novel Beloved by Toni Morrison* tells the story of Sethe, an escaped slave haunted by memories and the literal ghost of her past. It’s a complex exploration of generational trauma, guilt, and the struggle to find peace.

*These are affiliate links for which I get a small comission if you buy, at no extra cost for you. By following these links, you support my blog so I can continue bringing value to you through posts like this.

Key Takeaways

A trauma changes many aspects of our life and our brain tries to protect us from similar experiences, hence why “healing” isn’t even desirable: if everything was as before, we’d haven’t learned a thing.

Therefore, don’t get stuck in the mindset of a victim or try to return to who you are. You can process a trauma, learn to cope, and grow from it.

Do it as the Japanese with their Kintsugi: give the broken a new life by acknowledging what happened and filling the cracks with gold.

Get your list of actionable steps—for free. Sign up below.

A Keepsake

Do you like the idea of trauma kintsugi? Get a keepsake with the original fluid ink artwork to remind yourself of embracing the traces that life’s experience leaves on you. T-shirts, tanktops, hoodies, mugs, tote-bags, or poster—you can get a print in any form in our shop.